Li’l Deadpool Super Duper Secret Asgardian intelligence Excursion Codename: Prowling Panther

Let me level with you guys, I’m really bad at keeping secrets. I keep a dream journal. Dr. McCoy says it should stay private and out of the hands of anyone who has the capacity to read.

However, Dr. Phil says that for people to get over their issues they need to share their stories. So I read mine to kids at the library.

It always starts off good, but then people shoosh me when I make the gun and explosion noises. Then I get screamed at when I get to the love scenes.

Which leads to me tying up the librarian to get him out of my face. Then I’m on the news in some blown up hostage situation. All I want to do is get some stuff off my chest.

Anyway, I digress. Back to the mission at hand. I was hired to find a back road into Asgard, the home of that wonderful spoonful of pecks Thor. But I ran into his baby brother. This horny guy is Loki. He is apparently the god of mischief.

You would think he had a better sense of humor but in reality he’s kind of boner. He’s probably the guy who talks to himself and scares the hell out of old people when they leave the grocery store. Not the endearing kind of crazy. He also doesn’t like when you make penis jokes about his helmet.

This is one of his ways in and out of Asgard and I seemed to have stumbled onto it. It’s through this garden that actively tries to make you go crazy. Needless to say, like most women in my life, I believe I drove it crazier than it ever did me.

I will say this, I did get a little woozy and I wandered around for what felt like days. I saw some of the things I wrote in my dream journal. I Soaked my pants twice (always bring two pairs of undies kids). And now well, I don’t know how I got here.

I think I’m in Tony Danza’s pool.  That would explain why he is screaming at me. I’m pretty sure phallic helmet has something to do with this.

This is going in the journal.

– James Romansky is a graduate from NMSU and has written many Lil’ Deadpool Diary Adventure Parodies for Zia Comics in Las Cruces New Mexico. He is the photographer and editor of the photos that correspond with each story of the series as well. A Native New Mexican, James predominantly writes short fiction loosely based off his experiences in the southwest.

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